Do you already successfully use some of the techniques presented? Which ones work for you in what ways? How do you think you could bring MORE happiness, joy, and/or peace into your life using one or more of the techniques presented? Which ones? How do you feel about this quote from Peace is Every Step, “Although attempting to bring about world peace through the internal transformation of individuals is difficult, it is the only way. …Once these qualities are developed within an individual, he or she is then able to create an atmosphere of peace and harmony. This atmosphere can be expanded and extended from the individual to his family, from the family to the community, and eventually to the whole world.” In the books, Zen Seeds, Initiation and Eat, Pray, Love, the women took time to retreat and meditate. In what ways was this “time” they took similar or different than The Dalai Lama or Nhat Hanh? Does power and/or privilege make any difference in the ways these people achieve happiness? Does that make it seem more or less possible for us to do it too?We had a small group this time and were reminded that it doesn’t matter how many people come together, the conversation (and food) is always enriching, uplifting, and encouraging. We enjoyed reading Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh. We also read some quotes (below) from The Art of Happiness by The Dalai Lama. For the most part, “Happiness” seemed to give wonderful ideas from the theoretical perspective, while “Peace” gave practical ways to enact the ideas. Both books complement each other and work well together.
A brief snapshot of our responses and discussion of "PEACE" is next.
Do you already successfully use some of the techniques presented? Which ones work for you in what ways? How do you think you could bring MORE happiness, joy, and/or peace into your life using one or more of the techniques presented? Which ones?
- One of the techniques we use regularly is just breathing. When we were in labor and giving birth, we were taught breathing techniques to deal with the pain of contractions. Similarly, breathing is also important to deal with the pains we face in life.
- We also practice saying mantras (if they are the right ones for us). One is associated with breathing (breath in goodness and breath out anger). I mentioned that it was hard to breath in and breath out, smiling on the out (like the book suggests). Amy suggested breathing in the smile (even if forced) and breathing out the anger might work, and she’s right!
- Focusing on breathing (with or without a mantra) allows the pain to pass. We can use the time to look for the positives/the lesson while breathing.
- Having a “Gratitude Journal” or even saying our gratitudes in bed each night or first thing in the morning, helps us remember the gifts of life (and is a way to enact some of what the Dalai Lama writes)
How do you feel about this quote from Peace is Every Step, “Although attempting to bring about world peace through the internal transformation of individuals is difficult, it is the only way. …Once these qualities are developed within an individual, he or she is then able to create an atmosphere of peace and harmony. This atmosphere can be expanded and extended from the individual to his family, from the family to the community, and eventually to the whole world.”
- We had a conversation about cultivating compassion for out “jailer”. Being able to see that they didn’t receive love, affection, or a sense of belonging.
- We also discussed the importance of a more loving response to bad behavior from children or towards people who treat us badly.
- This led to a question, “How does one resist oppression while simultaneously being compassionate and loving toward the oppressor?”
In the books, Zen Seeds, Initiation and Eat, Pray, Love, the women took time to retreat and meditate. In what ways was this “time” they took similar or different than The Dalai Lama or Nhat Hanh?
- The Baha’i faith emphasizing the importance of service work and action, and how both a part of prayer. Prayer without action is not enough.
- Also Baha’i, you can’t seclude yourself, but peace needs to be spread through interaction with people.
Does power and/or privilege make any difference in the ways these people achieve happiness? Does that make it seem more or less possible for us to do it too?
- Yes, off the books we’ve read, the authors who shared their personal process, their ups and downs, and their family interactions in a non judgmental ways were more approachable than the people who did not (Dancing Healers, Initiation), whether they had privilege or not.
- The people who meditated and gave connections with real life (washing dishes, etc.) seemed to be more in touch with reality and the ways “ordinary” people can follow.
Here are some quotes and interpretations from THE ART OF HAPPINESS.
We tend to come back to a “baseline” happy range, no matter what our external experiences.
Sources of happiness include wealth, enlightenment, worldly satisfaction, and also health, friendship, and state of mind.
Our perception and level of contentment is strongly influenced by our tendency to compare. Research shows a difference in satisfaction between when people are asked to answer this question five times, “I’m glad I’m not a _______” and this one, “I wish I were a _______”. Showing there is an inner sense of worth, not just material wealth, necessary to feel happy.
Happiness is not necessarily pleasure. In fact, often happiness involves sacrificing pleasure.
If we can approach decisions with the question, “Will it bring me happiness?” then we can help ourselves make decisions that will bring more happiness.
How do we create the conditions of happiness?
• Hatred and ill feelings create more fear and loneliness
• Kindness and compassion create more positiveness
• Ethnical behavior leads to happiness
Utilize the day in positive ways and reflect at night in bed as to whether you have met your goals (focusing on positive, challenging the negative)
Through training (of mind) we can transform ourselves, new input can change our brains
Violence, anger, and aggression results form our frustration at not receiving or achieving love and affection and is secondary to the fundamental nature of kindness
Those who lack close social ties, suffer from poor health, higher levels of unhappiness, and a greater vulnerability to stress
Loneliness – typically, individuals are poor listeners, lack social skills, have problems with self-disclosure, and have difficulty communicating with others – the Dalai Lama says we need to cultivate compassion instead.
The “three poisons of the mind” are our causes of suffering: ignorance (misperception of self), craving, and hatred.
We add to our own hurt by “replaying the suffering.”
We go through three phases over and over in our life: Hold me tight, Leave me alone, and Put me down.
A tree needs roots to withstand the storm but cannot grow them in the face of a storm. It needs to grow them during the calm.
When you are truly patient, tolerance and forgiveness comes naturally.
Not being patient and tolerant with anger is like seeing someone shot with an arrow and asking how it happened instead of getting the arrow out.
Having an intimate relationship is an important component of happiness. These people are more likely to recover, less likely to get sick, and have better immune function.
Our basic fear of separation (and interpersonal loss) from other humans begins during infancy and continues for the rest of life (Eric Fromm) and is related to fear, sadness, and loss.
Touch is the primary vehicle for comfort and intimacy all other things are a substitute.
We can begin to build compassion based on what is in common with the other person – at the basic level, we are all born the same way, die, have the same physical structure and want happiness.
No comments:
Post a Comment