THREE DIFFERENT COVERS!
Elizabeth Strout was a high school drop out with two teachers for parents. She eventually graduated from Bates College.
One of the things we talked about was if we wrote a book about our own life, who would we ask to write a book OR who would we write about to help explain our life. We thought it would maybe be nice to have more of our childhood (and Olive’s) represented. So, how would we get into our childhood from adulthood? Running into someone? Reconnecting at a high school reunion? Getting “friended” on Facebook? Having our student talk about us? Writing about one of our students?
We liked the presentation of her story as short vignettes. Olive was “cut and dry,” so it made sense to have short chapters which allowed you to learn just a little bit and then “cut it short.” The short story also kept us wondering when Olive would appear again because you knew she would be coming. One drawback is that there are more characters when you have a short story. Another is that every story has a climax, often tragedy, and there are no chapters of rest.
1. "I'm not from New York" Kevin and his father who committed suicide. About hope?
2. "I'm a piano player" Angie and her prostitute mother. About change? forgiveness?
3. Olive's daughter-in-law doesn't know what kind of mother-in-law she's getting. Or, does she?
4. Olive has to use the bathroom in the hospital and learns about herself, her marriage, and apologizing. Can you ever forgive yourself for your own words and actions?
Olive, do you love her or hate her? Or love to hate her?
- She is quite disabled/incapacitated/unable to have self-reflection on her actions, words, and behaviors towards others.
- She doesn’t seem to have the ability to make a connection, she has no friends, she even has the phone propped up against her husband while he is in the hospital. She also always reads the News in the doctor’s office.
- She probably had some chronic depression after her father committed suicide. She talked about the deep dark, she cried herself to sleep, etc.
- Was Olive better in times of stress or calm? She seemed better able to show her compassion (love) in times of stress, like when Henry was in the hospital and she asked to talk to him even though he was in a coma.
- Olive was all about appearances (good wife, loving mother, etc.) – motivated by what other people think. She wanted people to think that her son was still going to visit, even after the divorce.
- She has a fear of being vulnerable and getting hurt so keeps pushing away people.
- Her relationships (and opinions of them) define her.
- She is better with younger people than with her peers. A better teacher than a person in her private life. She could be in control in her classroom, but not with her son. When she does what she is supposed to do, be functional, then she can put her depression aside.
- Olive didn’t want to be a housewife, but she liked gardening.
- What would the perfect daughter-in-law for Olive look like? One who could dish is back?
- We appreciated life thorough the character of Olive Kitteridge, though she is not really a lovable character.
- She recognized that she was mean to her son and said, “I’m sorry” to Henry only once.
Olive’s son continued to grow. First, he married his mother, then he got therapy, then he married Ann
At the end of the book, it seems like she may actually have ever so slightly changed “…Day after day was unconsciously squandered”
We talked about the small town setting (maybe like a neighborhood). When you grow up knowing everyone, you can hold grudges and strong opinions. The small town atmosphere brings a certain climate. A small town has a particular type of population with exactly these types of characters. Everyone knows all about you and your grandparents and their parents. You know exactly who is new to town, since most people would grow up and leave, with very few moving into the town. The idea that a teacher (or nurse, or other community member) knows “secrets” of individuals and families rings true. That the parents of children might not even know “secrets” of their child is scary. Not being able to let go of someone’s personality and behavior as they have matured (still thinking of them as a third grader) is (fill in the blank) immature/dangerous/just not right? Must be hard to change in that type of environment where everyone tell you about who you are (her son got out, and then he grew).
A bittersweet story of connections. Many characters were looking for connections. Many affairs were happening (another small town phenomenon).
Will Christopher continue to grow? How will his growth be affected by his relationship with his mother?
BRIEF SUMMARY from Amazon.com
Thirteen linked tales from Strout (Abide with Me, etc.) present a heart-wrenching, penetrating portrait of ordinary coastal Mainers living lives of quiet grief intermingled with flashes of human connection. The opening Pharmacy focuses on terse, dry junior high-school teacher Olive Kitteridge and her gregarious pharmacist husband, Henry, both of whom have survived the loss of a psychologically damaged parent, and both of whom suffer painful attractions to co-workers. Their son, Christopher, takes center stage in A Little Burst, which describes his wedding in humorous, somewhat disturbing detail, and in Security, where Olive, in her 70s, visits Christopher and his family in New York. Strout's fiction showcases her ability to reveal through familiar details—the mother-of-the-groom's wedding dress, a grandmother's disapproving observations of how her grandchildren are raised—the seeds of tragedy. Themes of suicide, depression, bad communication, aging and love, run through these stories, none more vivid or touching than Incoming Tide, where Olive chats with former student Kevin Coulson as they watch waitress Patty Howe by the seashore, all three struggling with their own misgivings about life. Like this story, the collection is easy to read and impossible to forget. Its literary craft and emotional power will surprise readers unfamiliar with Strout.
At times stern, at other times patient, at times perceptive, at other times in sad denial, Olive Kitteridge, a retired schoolteacher, deplores the changes in her little town of Crosby, Maine, and in the world at large, but she doesn’t always recognize the changes in those around her: a lounge musician haunted by a past romance; a former student who has lost the will to live; Olive’s own adult child, who feels tyrannized by her irrational sensitivities; and her husband, Henry, who finds his loyalty to his marriage both a blessing and a curse.
As the townspeople grapple with their problems, mild and dire, Olive is brought to a deeper understanding of herself and her life --- sometimes painfully, but always with ruthless honesty. Olive Kitteridge offers profound insights into the human condition --- its conflicts, its tragedies and joys, and the endurance it requires.
A lot of the book is also about making peace with your friends, family, community, choices, and life.
QUESTIONS
1. Do you like Olive Kitteridge as a person?
2. Have you ever met anyone like Olive Kitteridge, and if so, what similarities do you see between that person and Olive?
3. How would you say Olive changed as a person during the course of the book?
4. Discuss the theme of suicide. Which characters are most affected (or fascinated) by the idea of killing themselves?
5. What freedoms do the residents of Crosby, Maine, experience in contrast with those who flee the town for bigger “ponds” (California, New York)? Does anyone feel trapped in Crosby, and if so, who? What outlets for escape are available to them?
6. Why does Henry tolerate Olive as much as he does, catering to her, agreeing with her, staying even-keeled when she rants and raves? Is there anyone that you tolerate despite their sometimes overbearing behavior? If so, why?
7. How does Kevin (in “Incoming Tide”) typify a child craving his father’s approval? Are his behaviors and mannerisms any way like those of Christopher Kitteridge? Do you think Olive reminds Kevin more of his mother or of his father?
8. In “A Little Burst,” why do you think Olive is so keen on having a positive relationship with Suzanne, whom she obviously dislikes? How is this a reflection of how she treats other people in town?
9. Does it seem fitting to you that Olive would not respond while others ridiculed her body and her choice of clothing at Christopher and Suzanne’s wedding?
10. How do you think Olive perceives boundaries and possessiveness, especially in regard to relationships?
11. Elizabeth Strout writes, “The appetites of the body were private battles” (“Starving,” page 89). In what ways is this true? Are there “appetites” that could be described as battles waged in public? Which ones, and why?
12. Why does Nina elicit such a strong reaction from Olive in “Starving”? What does Olive notice that moves her to tears in public? Why did witnessing this scene turn Harmon away from Bonnie?
13. In “A Different Road,” Strout writes about Olive and Henry: “No, they would never get over that night because they had said things that altered how they saw each other” (p. 124). What is it that Olive and Henry say to each other while being held hostage in the hospital bathroom that has this effect? Have you experienced a moment like this in one of your close relationships?
14. In “Tulips” and in “Basket of Trips,” Olive visits people in difficult circumstances (Henry in the convalescent home, and Marlene Bonney at her husband’s funeral) in hopes that “in the presence of someone else’s sorrow, a tiny crack of light would somehow come through her own dark encasement” (p. 172). In what ways do the tragedies of others shine light on Olive’s trials with Christopher’s departure and Henry’s illness? How do those experiences change Olive’s interactions with others? Is she more compassionate or more indifferent? Is she more approachable or more guarded? Is she more hopeful or more pessimistic?
15. In “Ship in a Bottle,” Julie is jilted by her fiancé, Bruce, on her wedding day. Julie’s mother, Anita, furious at Bruce’s betrayal, shoots at him soon after. Julie quotes Olive Kitteridge as having told her seventh-grade class, “Don’t be scared of your hunger. If you’re scared of your hunger, you’ll just be one more ninny like everyone else” (p. 195). What do you think Olive means by this phrase? How does Olive’s life reflect this idea? Who is afraid of his or her hunger in these stories?
16. In “Security,” do you get the impression that Olive likes Ann, Christopher’s new wife? Why does she excuse Ann’s smoking and drinking while pregnant with Christopher’s first child (and Henry’s first grandchild)? Why does she seem so accepting initially, and what makes her less so as the story goes on?
17. Was Christopher justified in his fight with Olive in “Security”? Did he kick her out, or did she voluntarily leave? Do you think he and Ann are cruel to Olive?
18. Do you think Olive is really oblivious to how others see her– especially Christopher? Do you think she found Christopher’s accusations in “Security” shocking or just unexpected?
19. What’s happened to Rebecca at the end of “Criminal”? Where do you think she goes, and why do you think she feels compelled to go? Do you think she’s satisfied with her life with David? What do you think are the reasons she can’t hold down a job?
20. What elements of Olive’s personality are revealed in her relationship with Jack Kennison in “River”? How does their interaction reflect changes in her perspective on her son? On the way she treated Henry? On the way she sees the world?
Questions From the Random House Reader's Circle trade paperback edition.
