The Other Wes Moore: One Name, Two Fates by Wes Moore

One of the first things we talked about was that the “two Wes Moore men” were NOT the same. The author (the successful one) had a Grandfather who was a pastor, and the church, presumably, had a higher level of moral guidelines embedded into the culture of the family then (perhaps) the incarcerated Wes Moore. The fact that he had extended family nearby and someone who had money to help his mom put him into military school was a big difference as well. If we think these differences are small, then we are underestimating the impact of living where most folks are at the poverty level and dangers lurk in every neighborhood. ANY difference (and all differences) can BE the difference between surviving and going to jail.

Another thing we talked about is that when you come from a different culture, you see people who look like you, those people are in positions of power, and have a particular pride about who you are and where you are from. You can brush off negative assumptions of others because you KNOW people like you can make it. When you grow up in the United States, for example, and have been oppressed and thought less of, then you are constantly told you have less options.

In the words of one of my students, “In our small, suburban (often affluent) towns, most African-American students are bussed in from Boston in order to create a diversity where not much already exists. There is a distinct contrast between the size and luxury of many of their homes when compared to the homes of their suburban peers. Once the students begin to notice that the white children live in one kind of home and location, and the children of color live in another, it is hard not to think that the stereotypes to which the students are exposed in the culture at large are not being reinforced by their experience in the suburbs. It is easy for “Rumors of Inferiority” to seep into the self-image of a student of color. Once such an internalized belief takes hold, all aspects of a child’s experience can be affected. The child doubts his or her ability to be an active agent who can overcome difficulties, has a self-limiting view of his or her place in the future, assumes other people have little respect for him/her, may begin to feel that it’s not worth even trying, and spends a great deal of mental energy in self-protection. This, in turn, increases the likelihood that the student will disengage from the mainstream culture of the school, which has a huge impact on achievement.” There is a difference between growing up in a country where people like you are successful, and growing up in a country where people like you are oppressed. As Wes Moore wrote, “If you can’t visualize a future for yourself, what’s the point to doing something other than strapping on a bomb or doing something stupid?”

We talked about the difference between Hometown Cops vs. City Cops:

* Wes Moore says in some areas of the city (or towns) that the police want to harass not to protect

* We reflected on our own towns – would the cops arrest someone who pulled a knife (assuming, even expecting it would happen)? or take them down to the station and then talk to the parents?

* Do the well-to-do kids pay the not-well-to-do kids to do their dirty work (like jumping a kid they want to get back at)?

* If you are a good athlete, are you given more leeway?

* Do the police assume some kids come from “good” families and others are from the “bad” families? Does it make a difference?

* Where you live, your address, doesn’t it means something to some people?

Here’s a little comparison of our thoughts:

	AUTHOR Wes Moore	INCARCERATED Wes Moore
Absent Father	Taught to remember father	Taught to forget father
Humanity		Jail doesn’t remove us from humanity
		When the mother of the incarcerated Wes Moore lost her college funding (CETA during Reagan era, why spend gov’t money to get people off welfare?), it changed her life.
		Early losses condition you to think short-term plans are the best

We discussed the importance of having a Rite of Passage – something to show members of society that you have become an “adult” and should be treated differently.

Burgeoning manhood is guided in Africa. A Rite of Passage that includes the community.

* “Because Mandela asked us to”

* Abuntu – a way of life

* “Don’t define or limit me, but help me discover what it means to be free”

In the U.S., it is approached with apprehension and feared by others, except in a few cases:

* A Bah/Bat Mitzvah helps this transition for Jewish children

* What helps a typical American boy? Getting a driver’s license? A family car? Your own car?

* Wes Moore says, “Leadership comes when you are forced to make tough decisions”

A quote from the story, “It’s hard to distinguish between second chances and last chances.”

* Second chances come, but if the situation hasn’t changed, then it is not a second chance.

* Crucial junctures happen very quickly in a boy’s life. With no intervention or the wrong intervention, a boy can be lost forever.

* Getting a knife – is it a matter of survival?

Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and then Acceptance.

Other quotes from the story:

* About death, dying, and the purpose of life, “When it’s time to leave, you make sure you worked hard to make sure it ever mattered you were here.”

* “Living in the Bronx and Baltimore had given me this foolish impression that I knew what poverty looked like”

* “Failing does not make us a failure, but no trying does make us a fool”

What one has, can't make up for what one's missing.
* "People change, but only if you give them room to do it."
* "If you pick this moment to be with a guy, you're stuck with it for the rest of your life"