Overview
- Usually it is the minority that is out of it and called an
objectified nickname
- Theme of wanting to be American and then getting older and
wanting your own culture and language
- It was hard to follow all the characters
- Some places online said it was “documentary style”
Questions and Topics for Discussion
1. At the beginning of the novel, Blondie says, “At least I
had my family. Every happy family has its innocence. I suppose, looking back,
this was ours” [p. 4]. Is her belief in the sanctity of the family shared by
the others? In what ways does her upbringing and her position within the Bailey
family as “the throwback, a plain Jane who seemed to have no part in certain
family games” [p. 70] influence her point of view?
- Jane had ideas about her own nuclear family and probably
never thought.
- Because her family was supposed to be liberal, maybe
marrying outside her family was a way to show that she was liberal
- Her mom died, so maybe she wanted more family connection
- With him she got instant family
- Mama Wong had a sense of how families should be
2. How does Mama Wong’s Alzheimer’s affect Carnegie’s
feelings about her? In what ways do his reactions offer insights not only into
her character but into Carnegie’s as well? Compare his feelings and the way he
expresses them with Blondie’s blunter observations about her mother-in-law. Are
the differences based purely on their relationship to Mama Wong and her
treatment of each of them? How does Jen capture the poignancy, the frustration,
and even the humor of dealing with an Alzheimer’s patient?
- she offered money to not get married because she wanted
him to marry a Chinese wife who would take care of her
- Jane was older by 6 year
3. Several decades separate the arrivals of Mama Wong and
Lan in America. What insights do their backgrounds provide into the position of
women in Chinese society both before and after the Communist takeover? Using
Carnegie’s retelling of Mama Wong’s story [p. 30] and Lan’s thoughts as she
settles into the household [pp. 39—49] and her description of her life in China
[p. 95—102] as a starting point, discuss the ways in which their expectations
and their experiences as immigrants differ and what they have in common. What
do their comments about life in America bring to light about the changes in
this country during that same period?
- Communism stripped people of their individuality
- Mama Wong knew how to work the system (buy real estate)
- Lan knew being important in a family was a goal and worked
that system
4. When Mama Wong dies, Carnegie says, “What a large word,
‘mother’; how puny its incorporation.
Like the words ‘her family,’ meaning me.
It was at times like this that I missed having a father, but not only for
myself. I missed my mother having a husband.” [pp. 177—78]. How does this
reflection encapsulate Carnegie’s state of mind and his emotional awakening?
What impact do his memories of childhood, his mother’s memorabilia, and the
discovery of the existence of the family book [pp. 189—193] have on his
relationship with Blondie? How does Jen make these changes apparent?
- Mama Wong was in charge when he was growing up, she took
control (stop letting these people live here for free)
- After she died, he wanted to be in charge and be honored
as head of household. Lan did that for him and Jane didn’t.
5. Lizzy is in many ways a typical teenager trying to
establish her own identity. To what extent does her image of herself as
“mixed-up soup du jour” [p. 8] help to explain her almost immediate attachment
to Lan? Does Lan take advantage of Lizzy’s confusion in an unfair or calculated
way?
- She does because Lizzy doesn’t know how she fits or what
cultural “line” she should follow
- Lan arrives at a bad time for blondie because Lizzy is a
teenager pushing away from her parents.
- Blondie is the bad guy and Lan undermines her
- Lan is shoved above garage and in charge of a goal, being
treat like nothing, and not part of the family
6. What does Wendy’s perspective add to our understanding of
the family dynamics? What particular passages or incidents show that she, as
Lan tells her, “See not only with your eyes but with your heart” [p. 90]? What
effect does the fact that she is from China and her origins are clear have on
the way she is treated by others and on her own sense of identity?
- She has a clearer sense of identity than Lizzy does and
was less rebellious with Jane
- She was physical “solid” while Lizzy was variable
- She could see multiple sides more
- Wendy was the only character that wasn’t irritating
7. Blondie asks herself, “Were we adopting this child
[Wendy] for her good or for ours?” [p. 121] What does this imply about
parenthood? Is it as relevant to the decision to have a child of one’s own as
it is to adopting a child?
- Jane ended up taking only the baby and that upset the
sibling
- People want a baby to have a family and give love
8. What is the significance of Blondie’s assertion, “I had
always drawn strength from the fact that my hair next to Lizzy’s should be a
picture that challenged the heart. Now I drew on it purposefully, the way other
women drew on the knowledge that they were intelligent or thin. I had had the
heart to take these children in, after all. Had I not loved them deeply and
well, as if they were from the beginning my own?” [p. 133] Does her description
of Bailey’s birth [p. 156] cast a different light on her feelings?
- She felt more connected to her biological blond child
- She felt good about taking in these children of color
(look at the good thing I didi)
9. Is Blondie’s uneasiness about Lan’s claims on the
children’s affections unusual? What distinguishes Lan’s role in the household
from the usual interactions between a family and the people who care for their
children? How do Lan’s personality and her judgments [p. 136, for example], as
well as Carnegie’s and Blondie’s attitudes, contribute to the ambiguous nature
of the relationship?
- She is referred to as the nanny but is a relative, so this
was ambiguous
- Lan thought she was going to be family, not that she was
going to be the help
- People who are the help are not treated like family
10. Does Lan’s presence in the household alter Blondie and
Carnegie’s marriage in a fundamental way, or does it simply throw into relief
differences that existed all along? To what extent is Carnegie’s attraction to
Lan [pp. 142—44] attributable to misgivings about his marriage? Is the
unraveling of the Wong’s marriage inevitable, or does it confirm Blondie’s
suspicion that Mama Wong “would send us, from her grave, the wife [Carnegie]
should have married” [p. 195]?
- Lan wouldn’t have been able to fracture the family, if
there wasn’t already a problem
- She just highlighted the problem (and capitalized on it)
11. What personal ambitions does Lan bring to the United
States? Is her drive and desire to make the most of herself admirable or
opportunistic and self-serving? How complicit is she in alienating Blondie from
the family? What messages does she convey in the lessons she gives the girls in
Chinese language and culture [pp. 203, 215—16, for example]? What do her involvement
with Shang [pp. 285—309] and her marriage to Jeb Su reveal about Lan’s
priorities?
- She values the Chinese culture and wants to pass that on
- Shang was abusive (she knew how to handle him)
- One of her goals is education but she thought she was too old
(cuz she would have been in China)
12. Throughout the novel, Blondie and Gabriela exchange
e-mails [pp. 131, 141, 202, 218—19]. What insight do these provide that is
missing from Blondie’s longer, more detailed accounts of events? What does this
friendship provide Blondie that is lacking in her relationship with Carnegie
and with her siblings and father?
13. Why does Blondie’s effort to reclaim her family by
becoming a stay-at-home mom ultimately fail? Beyond the practical implications,
what is the importance of her decision to move out of the house?
- Jane is separating herself from Chinese culture and
finding herself (which is a huge privilege)
14. The book ends on an ambivalent note. Why are the final
words Wendy’s, and how do they relate to the themes of the novel?
- Carnegie wanted Lan in the main house but Jane said no
- Jane was tired of being the other because she was the
other in her own family
15. Each character presents a personal chronicle of the
events in their lives, sometimes commenting on or correcting the perceptions of
the others. How would you describe the tone of each character’s commentary? For
example, what qualities do Carnegie’s portrait of Blondie [pp. 20—21] and his
“selected preconceptions, wholly inexcusable” about Lan [p. 12] have in common?
- He had to talk nicely about his wife
- Chinese family values harmony
- Expectations that Lan would go along with family, but her
manipulations caused disharmony
16. How do the juxtaposition of viewpoints and the mixture
of tones affect the way the story unfolds and your reactions to the individual
characters? Which one, if any, dominates the narrative? Does a particular
character stand out as the emotional center of the novel? How might a reader’s
own experience, gender, or background influence their sympathies for the
various characters?
- We liked Wendy
- “Love is not enough”
- We love you and you are American is not enough
17. Gish Jen’s previous books–Typical American,
Mona in the Promised Land, and Who’s Irish?–established her as a
funny and incisive portrayer of the way people of various backgrounds,
cultures, and ambitions search for a place for themselves in America. How does The
Love Wife extend and add twists to the notion of America as a nation of
immigrants? Has the need to assimilate become less important to recent
immigrants than it was to past generations or has assimilation become
redefined?
- Mama Wong’s daughter is Lan
- She wanted Lan to live in the house
