Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Waking Up White by Debby Irving

Every chapter of the book ends with a question.  I found a summary on line.  Even if you don't finished the book, you might find it interesting to peruse the discussion questions she came up with. 
We had a rich discussion that I totally can't capture.  Here are some topics and comments that came up in our discussion:
  • Childhood and where we grew up
  • Shaming: Don’t ask questions/talk about
  • House Rules: No yelling, elbows on table, etc.: Children should be seen and not heard
  • Birth order (if you were first born, what happens when your parents remarry and your birth order changes?)
  • What stereotypes do we have of other (any) groups?  Frat boys are more scary than other groups.
  • “Whiteness is a pigment of the imagination”
  • The people who believe themselves to be white – Ta Nehisi Coates
  • Do it, make mistakes!
  • It’s good to know other people’s opinions (Facebook)
  • Many ways that we are kept ignorant

Childhood in White
In this section of the book, Ms. Irving thinks back to the assumptions, both spoken and unspoken, that her family transmitted about race and class, self and others.
  Thinking back, did your family ever talk about issues of race and class? If so, what was the content of those discussions?
  As a child, what was your understanding of why some people were wealthy and some people were not?
  What was your family’s attitude about people in power?
  How did your faith fit into discussions about wealth, race and power

Midlife Wake Up Calls
In this section, Ms. Irving shares some of the sobering history she learned in her “Racial and Cultural Identity” class. On p. 30 she writes, “Not thinking I had a race, the idea of asking me to study my ‘racial identity’ felt ludicrous.”
  What are they ways in which you describe yourself to others? By gender? Religion? Sexual identity? Marital status? Familial status (parent, sibling, grandparent, etc.)? Is race ever a part of that description?
  Is it important for white people to perceive and understand whiteness?
  What “aha” or “waking up” moments did you have while reading this section of the book? If you did not have a moment like this while reading the book, do you remember having a “waking up” moment about race previously? What was it? How did it occur?
  How does Judaism impact your racial identity? How does your racial identity impact your Judaism?
  Do you think that American Jews are generally perceived as white? If so, where do Jews of Color fit into this perception?

Why Didn’t I Wake Up Sooner?
Here Ms. Irving delves more deeply into white privilege and starts to discuss the discomfort we can feel in speaking to one another across racial lines. On p. 71 she writes: “Privilege is a strange thing in that you notice it least when you have it most.” She also shares part of a piece called “Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack.”
  What privileges are granted simply for being white?
  What complications arise in facilitating conversations across race?  What role does white privilege have in shaping these complications?
  In what ways has your Jewish upbringing supported or challenged white privilege?
  Have you ever had anyone doubt or minimalize an experience of racism, sexism, homophobia or anti-Semitism? How did that make you feel?
  Have you ever second-guessed another person’s experience when it comes to racism or some other form of discrimination?

Rethinking Key Concepts
In these chapters Ms. Irving debunks a number of stories that white people tell themselves about their relationship with race in America.
  How do good people help to perpetuate systemic racism?
  How does “colorblindness” help to perpetuate systemic racism?
  What is the Robin Hood syndrome and how does it affect white and black people?
  Have the social justice programs at our synagogue/in our community played into any of these stories? If so, how?

Twenty-Five Years of Tossing and Turning
Ms. Irving speaks about instances in her life of trying to work with people of color, of mistakes she made and lessons she learned.
  Have you tried to form relationships across racial lines?  If so, were you successful?  If not, what has held you back?
  When do you feel inside or outside of social circles?  Does being Jewish ever affect how  “included” you feel in the secular world? Does being Jewish ever make you feel more connected with people on the “outside?”
  What do these chapters suggest, if anything, about the generational effects of racism?
  On p. 128, Ms. Irving writes: “White people becoming racially aware and coaching other white people to do the same is so important.” Why is it important for white people to take on this responsibility for ourselves?

Leaving My Comfort Zone
In this section, Ms. Irving details her work in becoming a diversity and antiracism teacher. She shares guidelines regarding conversational ground rules on p. 172.
• Do you agree with the guidelines Ms. Irving describes? In your opinion, are any guidelines missing?
• How can white people prepare to listen, without judgment, to the experiences of people with color?
Why is it important for them to do so?

Inner Work
These chapters detail the continuing work that white people need to do in order to be partners in the work of dismantling racism.
• Discuss the following topics: A multicultural approach vs. a “melting pot” approach when thinking about communities. Becoming culturally competent.  The often hidden dominant white culture.  Interdependence vs. individualism.  The difference between equality and equity.
• How do these ideas connect with Jewish values?

Outer Work and Reclaiming My Humanity
These chapters begin to help us think about where we might want to go from here.
  On p. 219 Ms. Irving writes: “Either I’m intentionally and strategically working against [racism] or I’m aiding and abetting the system.” Do you agree with this statement?  Why or why not?
  How can you move from being a bystander to an ally? Be specific.
  What qualities make a good ally? What behaviors or attitudes can compromise allyship?
  How can we make our synagogues more inclusive and welcoming of Jews of Color?
  What can we gain as individuals and as a community by working together with individuals and communities of color to end racism? What have we lost if we miss out on these opportunities?
  Where should we go from here?