Every chapter of the book
ends with a question. I found a summary on line. Even if you don't finished the book, you might find it interesting to peruse the
discussion questions she came up with.
We had a rich discussion that I totally can't capture.
Here are some topics and comments that came up in our discussion:
- Childhood
and where we grew up
- Shaming:
Don’t ask questions/talk about
- House
Rules: No yelling, elbows on table, etc.: Children should be seen and not
heard
- Birth
order (if you were first born, what happens when your parents remarry and
your birth order changes?)
- What
stereotypes do we have of other (any) groups? Frat boys are more
scary than other groups.
- “Whiteness
is a pigment of the imagination”
- The
people who believe themselves to be white – Ta Nehisi Coates
- Do
it, make mistakes!
- It’s
good to know other people’s opinions (Facebook)
- Many
ways that we are kept ignorant
Childhood in White
In
this section of the book, Ms. Irving thinks back to the assumptions, both
spoken and unspoken, that her family transmitted about race and class, self and
others.
• Thinking back, did your family ever
talk about issues of race and class? If so, what was the content of those
discussions?
• As a child, what was your understanding
of why some people were wealthy and some people were not?
• What was your family’s attitude about
people in power?
• How did your faith fit into discussions
about wealth, race and power
Midlife Wake Up Calls
In
this section, Ms. Irving shares some of the sobering history she learned in her
“Racial and Cultural Identity” class. On p. 30 she writes, “Not thinking I had
a race, the idea of asking me to study my ‘racial identity’ felt ludicrous.”
• What are they ways in which you
describe yourself to others? By gender? Religion? Sexual identity? Marital
status? Familial status (parent, sibling, grandparent, etc.)? Is race ever a
part of that description?
• Is it important for white people to
perceive and understand whiteness?
• What “aha” or “waking up” moments did
you have while reading this section of the book? If you did not have a moment
like this while reading the book, do you remember having a “waking up” moment
about race previously? What was it? How did it occur?
• How does Judaism impact your racial
identity? How does your racial identity impact your Judaism?
• Do you think that American Jews are
generally perceived as white? If so, where do Jews of Color fit into this
perception?
Why Didn’t I Wake Up
Sooner?
Here
Ms. Irving delves more deeply into white privilege and starts to discuss the
discomfort we can feel in speaking to one another across racial lines. On p. 71
she writes: “Privilege is a strange thing in that you notice it least when you
have it most.” She also shares part of a piece called “Unpacking the Invisible
Knapsack.”
• What privileges are granted simply for
being white?
• What complications arise in
facilitating conversations across race?
What role does white privilege have in shaping these complications?
• In what ways has your Jewish upbringing
supported or challenged white privilege?
• Have you ever had anyone doubt or
minimalize an experience of racism, sexism, homophobia or anti-Semitism? How
did that make you feel?
• Have you ever second-guessed another
person’s experience when it comes to racism or some other form of
discrimination?
Rethinking Key Concepts
In
these chapters Ms. Irving debunks a number of stories that white people tell
themselves about their relationship with race in America.
• How do good people help to perpetuate
systemic racism?
• How does “colorblindness” help to
perpetuate systemic racism?
• What is the Robin Hood syndrome and how
does it affect white and black people?
• Have the social justice programs at our
synagogue/in our community played into any of these stories? If so, how?
Twenty-Five Years of
Tossing and Turning
Ms.
Irving speaks about instances in her life of trying to work with people of
color, of mistakes she made and lessons she learned.
• Have you tried to form relationships
across racial lines? If so, were
you successful? If not, what has
held you back?
• When do you feel inside or outside of
social circles? Does being Jewish
ever affect how “included” you
feel in the secular world? Does being Jewish ever make you feel more connected
with people on the “outside?”
• What do these chapters suggest, if
anything, about the generational effects of racism?
• On p. 128, Ms. Irving writes: “White
people becoming racially aware and coaching other white people to do the same
is so important.” Why is it important for white people to take on this
responsibility for ourselves?
Leaving My Comfort Zone
In
this section, Ms. Irving details her work in becoming a diversity and
antiracism teacher. She shares guidelines regarding conversational ground rules
on p. 172.
•
Do you agree with the guidelines Ms. Irving describes? In your opinion, are any
guidelines missing?
•
How can white people prepare to listen, without judgment, to the experiences of
people with color?
Why
is it important for them to do so?
Inner Work
These
chapters detail the continuing work that white people need to do in order to be
partners in the work of dismantling racism.
•
Discuss the following topics: A multicultural approach vs. a “melting pot”
approach when thinking about communities. Becoming culturally competent. The often hidden dominant white
culture. Interdependence vs.
individualism. The difference
between equality and equity.
•
How do these ideas connect with Jewish values?
Outer Work and Reclaiming
My Humanity
These
chapters begin to help us think about where we might want to go from here.
• On p. 219 Ms. Irving writes: “Either
I’m intentionally and strategically working against [racism] or I’m aiding and
abetting the system.” Do you agree with this statement? Why or why not?
• How can you move from being a bystander
to an ally? Be specific.
• What qualities make a good ally? What
behaviors or attitudes can compromise allyship?
• How can we make our synagogues more
inclusive and welcoming of Jews of Color?
• What can we gain as individuals and as
a community by working together with individuals and communities of color to
end racism? What have we lost if we miss out on these opportunities?
• Where should we go from here?